# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
