Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
oh god the rape fog is back!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
