I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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