You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
