The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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