Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize