Its about making memories worth repressing
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
