its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
