and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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