...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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