dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
