There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize