I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
