I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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