That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
