i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
