I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
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