i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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