i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
