what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
