I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
