You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
