ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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