Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
