I just made out with a guy for $7.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
