Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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