why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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