then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
