stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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