He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
