Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
