Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
