Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize