ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm at about main and main street
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
