Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
