Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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