I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
