you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
