I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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