I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
cat food counts as protein by the way
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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