I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
