So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
the raccoons are back...
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