I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize
