definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
