she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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