i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Randomize
