I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize