Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
