My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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