Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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