i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Drunk is not a location!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
