But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
