he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
