and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I hate all girls vehemently.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
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