I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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