You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
