some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize