my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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